


Rekt On WhatsApp

by Nekomatan



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: "my name is not little girl", Clizzy - Freeform, Fanfiction, Funny, Humor, Izzy is the biggest malec shipper, Malec, Multi, Saphael, Shadow Hunters, Sizzy - Freeform, catchup, clace, climon, convos, episode based, funny user names, if shadow hunters texted, multi ships, season 1 +, ships, show based, show with a twist, text convos, the mortal instruments - Freeform, tmi, tv, twist - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9543863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekomatan/pseuds/Nekomatan
Summary: What if the squad made a group chat?(Humor) FT. "MyNameIsNotLittleGirl", "Nerdhot", "WhipGirl", "IJustGotThisJacket", "Maia_Slays", "UltimateShipper", "Jocelyn:D", "GlitteryDude", "TotallyNotHot", "ILoveDot", "BookwormHodge", "ArcheryBoiii", "Lydia", "Meliorn", "ILoveRagnor", "Killer Valentine", "Aldertree_Rules", "Camille", "ComicMax",





	1. Chapter I:

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on 100+ chapters, so please show some <3 if you ship Malec harder than Izzy. Enjoy :3

**\--------------**

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl" :** Hey guys! I made a group where we can chat.

 

 **“NerdHot” :** Clary, are you feeling well? Why would you think I’d want to be in a group with Captain America and his sidekick?

 

 **“TotallyNotHot** ”: First of all mundane, don’t ever expect me to want to be lumbered in any sort of group with you. As long as it makes Clary happy, it’s cool. It might be convenient anyway. Am I right Alec?

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** Yeah sure, whatever. My mom is calling for you, so you’d better go.

 

 **“TotallyNotHot”:** I’m coming.

 

 **“WhipGirl”:** Who’s up for a party tonight??!!

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** As long as I can steal your clothes, as I have nothing nice. It wasn’t my fault they all burnt was it?

 

 **“WhipGirl”:** :D

 

 **“GlitteryDude”:** Who’s coming?

 

 **“Archeryboii”:** Me I guess.

 

 **“GlitteryDude”:** Hell yes! Count me in then… I mean, sure ok.

 

 **“NerdHot”:** I’ll pick you all up at 8.

 

 **“TotallyNotHot”:** Let me grab some weapons, because we all know what happened last time we went to a party.

 

 **“BadassCop”:** I may be a cop, but I’ll pretend I never heard that.

 

\---------


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (2) What if the squad made a group chat?
> 
> (Humor) FT. "MyNameIsNotLittleGirl", "Nerdhot", "WhipGirl", "IJustGotThisJacket", "Maia_Slays", "UltimateShipper", "Jocelyn:D", "GlitteryDude", "TotallyNotHot", "ILoveDot", "BookwormHodge", "ArcheryBoiii", "Lydia", "Meliorn", "ILoveRagnor", "Killer Valentine", "Aldertree_Rules", "Camille", "ComicMax",

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a second chapter! 2 down, 108 to go! Thanks for all the feedback, i really appreciate it. =(^~^)=

**\------------**

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** Clary, where are you? I promised Jace I’d keep an eye on you…

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** I’m going to the loft to find that box. You were busy with an important phone call, don’t blame me.

**“GlitteryDude”:** A very important phone call ;)

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** Not now Magnus.

 

 **“WhipGirl”:** Nooo! An awkward rejection! Don’t sink my shipppppp.

 

 **“ArcheryBoii”:** Izzy, don’t start. Clary, stay put I’m on my way.

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** Fine, but I’m at the art studio. Just know that Jace would react differently before dragging me home.

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** Clary, what is the point in a silence rune if you don’t turn your phone off?

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** Why do you always look so miserable? I know you’re in love with Jace.

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** I don’t have any idea what you are on about

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** Um… Yes you do. Just admit it, and you’ll feel better.

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** No, you’re in love with Jace. We’re Parabati.

 

 **“TotallyNotHot”:** I’m in love with Jace.

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** I think it’s best if we don’t go into a discussion about Jace, with Jace.

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** Agreed.

 

 **“WhipGirl”:** I’ve just been reading the messages lol. Did you guys just agree on something! Get the camera, it’s a once in a life time opportunity.

 

 **“MyNameIsNotLittleGirl”:** Umm, no way!!

 

 **“ArcheryBoiii”:** No.

 

 **“WhipGirl”:** k. ^-^

 

\-----------

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izzy's reaction to Malec in this chapter is literally me.


	3. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Malec vibes coming your way! Leave comments & requests, i will reply and incorporate them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i couldn't update yesterday, i had a crap load of exams to deal with, and i'm only able to do this now because i'm writing instead of revising. Anyway...
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and i'll try to update as much as possible. :)

\--------

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** Izzy, i need your help.

 

 **"WhipGirl":** Sure, I'll contribute to Malec going cannon. I can already feel it in my veins!

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl":** I think she's lost it.

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** No... I was just going to ask what colour Alec is wearing to the party...

 

 **"WhipGirl" :** Probably a black shirt and jeans... Why? 

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** No particular reason.

 

 **"WhipGirl":** Omg! You want to match don't you! How Sweet! *"WhipGirl" took a screen shot of this post*

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** Are you talking about me?

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** Who else would i be talking about, pretty boy? ;)

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** Not now Magnus, you do realize everyone else can read that right?

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** You do know i love a challenge. ;)

 

 **"WhipGirl":** CANNON!! I REPEAT MALEC HAS GONE CANNON! I'M COMING TO THE WEDDING!

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl":** Breath woman geez. 

 

 **"ArcheryBoii":** This got weird extremely quickly.

 

 **"WhipGirl":** For everyone elses sake, just kisssssss already!

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** Clary, remove Izzy now before she becomes a hot puddle on the carpet.

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl":** Sniggers.

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** What?

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl":** I'm pretty sure she can't be any hotter.. I mean nothing, sorry.

 

 **"TotallyNotHot":** Clary, you're not gay. We made out yesterday, and i'm pretty sure you enjoyed it.

 

 **"NerdHot":** Wtf is going on? Clary, is there some kind of math problem you want to talk about!?

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl":** I was joking... seriously. I'm not saying Izzy isn't beautiful or anything.

 

 **"WhipGirl":** :/ ( disappointed af )

 

 **"MaryseLightwood":** Why is everyone gay?! I protest against my son being corrupted by a gay Warlock. Alec was straight last time i checked.

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** How dare you bitch! I'm bisexual!

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** I haven't done anything mom, i'm sorry for whatever offended you.

 

 **"GlitteryDude":** There's nothing to be ashamed of Alec.

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** No Magnus, leave me alone.

 

 **"MaryseLightwood":** Children these days.

 

 ***MaryseLightwood left***  
  


**"ArcheryBoiii":** Sorry about that, my mom is a pain in the ass. Are you still up for that drink? ;)

 

 **"RobertLightwood":** Alec, i'm still here. I don't mind what you do as long as you don't publicly disgrace this family, but don't say that about your mother. I'll deal with you later. Have fun son, at least you can't get impregnate anyone.

 

 **"Archeryboii":** uhh.. this got weird again. Thanks father?

 

***"ArcheryBoii" left the chat***

 

***"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl" added "ArcheryBoiii"***

 

 **"ArcheryBoii":** Seriously? 

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl":** Nobody is supposed to leave.

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii":** I don't take orders from a little girl.

 

 **"NerdHot":** Just listen to her. You don't want her angry.

 

 **"BadassCop":** Well stated. 

 

 **"TotallyNotHot":** Guys, what did you do to Clary?  She's flipping tables again...

 

\------

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you enjoyed the super long chapter, i'll try to write more this weekend, but i'm supposed to be revising right now so please leave some <3 and let me know if you liked it, and what you want next ! :D


	4. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( THE LAST UPDATE WAS AN ERROR ) I'm so sorry for not updating! I forgot about this account but I'm back! I'll be updating many more chapters for you! Thanks for your patience.
> 
> * Mild language!

* * *

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Umm...

 **"WhipGirl:"** What is it Alec?

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** I have something I need to tell you guys.

 **"NerdHot:"** Really? I'm pretty sure everyone knows you're gay by now.

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** Simon! :O

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Not that, but idiot! How did you guess?!

 **"NerdHot:"** Oh! Sorry guys I have to go urgently. Bye!

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Did he actually have to go, little girl?

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** Yeah, he had to feed his pet elephant.

 **"WhipGirl:"** *Snorts* 

* * *

_**Everyone = ...** _

* * *

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** So Alec, about that thing you had to tell us?

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Oh yes. About that...

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** Spit it out! ;3

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** I'm marrying Lydia.

 **"WhipGirl:"** OH HELL NAW!!!

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** What's so bad? It'll be good for our family Iz.

 **"WhipGirl:"** Oh man, Jace is gonna flip when he gets back and see's this.

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** By the angel Alec, that was the best welcome home I've ever received! 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** *Grimaces*

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** So... I'm legitimately gone for an hour, and you've already decided you're marrying some random clave girl by the time I get back?

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** I was thinking about it before then...

 **"WhipGirl:"** *Facepalms*

* * *

**_*(ArcheryBoiii) added (LydiaBranwell) to the chat.*_ **

* * *

**"LydiaBranwell:"** Yep, that's me.

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** So... Who are you again?

 **"LydiaBranwell:"** The head of the Institute.

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** Crap.

 **"LydiaBranwell:"** I'm feeling generous, so I'll let this one slide.

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** *Breathes*

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** So... Are there more things I don't know about?

 **"WhipGirl:"** There was a forsaken in the institute yesterday.

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** Bloody hell Izzy! Just a small one, you know... Glad it didn't trouble you too much.

 **"NerdHot:"** He was created by valentine! 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** I thought you were feeding an elephant, mundane.

 **"NerdHot:** " What elephant? ... Clary!!!

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** I don't care, this isn't important. Why didn't you tell me about this?!

 **"BookloverHodge:"** I killed him though before he got to Alec.

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Accurate. 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** WHAT!? ARE YOU GUYS INSANE? 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Yeah I'm fine, thanks for asking.

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** Alec...

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** I'm fine Jace.

 **"SparklyDude:"** Alec... You're engaged! 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** No shit sherlock.

 **"Sparklydude:"** When I said follow your heart, I didn't mean you should go running off to get married.

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Stay out of this, it has nothing to do with you!

 **"WhipGirl:"** What did you do to Magnus? He's crying!

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** How am I supposed to know?!

 **"WhipGirl:"** Gosh! You idiot!!

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Fine, I'll talk to him then.


	5. Chapter V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating. There is either something wrong with the site, or my phone accessing it. Whenever i write and post on my phone, only a part of what iv'e written is ending up published. i'm trying to work out a way around this so i can post more. enjoy! :D

**"BadassCop:"** _Umm guys?..._

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _What is it Luke?_

 

**"BadassCop:"** _I'm kinda stuck here at the police station._

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _What ever happened?!_

 

 **"BadassCop:"** _I think I killed someone._

 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** _Cuz like, that's totally something you_

_admit on a public group chat._

 

**"BadassCop:"** _Well I bet you'd throw a party_

_with complulsory t-shirts_

_saying "I killed someone" and a game of pin the_

_tail on thebody. Besides, they were circle members_

_and it wasn't deliberate._

 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** _I'll let you off, you've caught me on one_

_of my bad days._

 

 **"BadassCop:"** _Again, Jace? They're going to search my things._

_You guys need to get the cup, it's in my desk_

_drawer._

 

" **MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _We're going in._

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _You know what your job is, Alec._

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** _What job?_

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _The one where you distract the office lady_

_so I can take her keycard, duh._

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** _I thought distracting was your job!_

_How am I supposed to do that?_

 

**"WhipGirl:"** _It's easy, just flirt with her. Besides, we have_

_practiced before anyway._

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** _Are. You. Mad?! A sack of potatoes aged_

_12 isn't a person!_

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _Well. Better than none, eh? But anyway,_

_it's good practice._

 

**"ArcheryBoiii:"** _I'm so confused Iz._

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _I just facepalmed so hard I think_

_I have concussion, but nevermind that._

_It's practice for asking you-know-who_

_out of course!_

 

 **"Archeryboiii:"** _***blushes*** Izzy! They'll guess!_

 

**"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _Hehe, I know who it is!_

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** _If you dare breathe a word..._

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _Oh crap. Alec is chasing after Clary_

_like a crazy person. My fault?_

**\----**

**"NerdHot:"** _Did they get it or not? It's been_

_an hour!_

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _of course I did!_

 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** _Clary, why._

 

 **"ArcheryBoiii:"** Jace! What happened? Are

you alright ?!

 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** Clary slapped me.

 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _Omg. You can thank me for that._


	6. Chapter V PART 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really a chapter, just a continuation of last chapter as for some reason it wouldn't let me publish the whole part ( see last chapter's note. )

 

 

**"NerdHot:"** _Well that escalated quickly._   
  


 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _Simon! It was for the cup!_

_What do you think she meant?!_   
  


 

 **"WhipGirl:"** _I train her, you idiot._  
  


 

 **"NerdHot:"** _Nothing..._

_\----_

**"BadassCop:"** _Her guys! Good news!_  
  


 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _Yay! What is it?_  
  


 

**"BadassCop:"** _They released me because of lack of_

_evidence. :D_   
  


 

 **"TotallyNotHot:"** _Well isn't that dandy._

_I can sleep tonight._   
  


**"BadassCop:"** _I'll think of you sleeping soundly_

_tonight Jace when i can't sleep, so thanks._

 

 **"MyNameIsNotLittleGirl:"** _Well. Doesn't that_

_sound creepy..._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, sorry it was short but i'm tired as hell from school work. I'll try to upload a new chapter at-least every two days if not two. :3


End file.
